谈做一个公教徒

与 On Being Catholic 对照
Thomas Howard

16 十字苦像

16 The Crucifix

毫无疑问,比起一切别的符号,甚至包括圣母抱圣婴的图像,在全世界眼中,最能代表基督宗教的标记,就是十字苦像。

No doubt the symbol that, above all others, even including that of the Madonna and Child, symbolizes the Christian religion to all the world is the Crucifix.

当然,十字苦像也可以在博物馆里看见。任何一位博物馆馆长,若是自己的馆藏里少了十字苦像——甚至少了好几尊十字苦像——都会觉得这收藏离「完整」还差得远。我们这些必死之人,对于生命的感受是何等深刻、何等细腻,这一点,最敏锐的指标之一,就是在这些世纪里,我们各种文化,分别赋予十字苦像怎样的形象。

Crucifixes may, of course, be seen in museums. No museum curator would feel his collection of art to be anywhere near complete if it lacked the Crucifix—or a number of Crucifixes. One of the most profound and delicate indexes of our mortal sensibility is the shape we have given in our various cultures over the centuries to the Crucifix.

有一种十字苦像,是一个年轻英雄的形象,悬挂在十字架上,挺身进入战场,与黑暗之君争战,要推翻他。古英语诗作《十字架之梦》就是这样说的,那段诗是由十字架自己说话:

There is the young hero on the Cross, entering the fray to do battle with the Prince of Darkness and to overthrow him. The Old English poem “The Dream of the Rood” speaks in this way. The lines are spoken by the Cross itself:

那时我看见全人类的君王,

心怀勇气,急忙向我走来登上……

那年轻的战士——神,全能的主——

脱下他的衣裳,坚定而刚强;

在众目睽睽之下,带着君王的气度,

他登上十字架,要救赎世人。[1]

Then I saw the King of all mankind

In brave mood hasting to mount upon me. . . .

Then the young Warrior, God, the All-Wielder,

Put off His raiment, steadfast and strong;

With lordly mood in the sight of many

He mounted the Cross to Redeem mankind.[1]

随着世纪推移,这种英雄式的形象,慢慢被那位「受苦的仆人」所取代——越来越明显地,被呈现为受害者——直到晚期中世纪时,人们在十字架上雕刻的是一个身体扭曲、极度消瘦、遍体血痕的形象。(要是有人按着世纪、按着国家,一直追踪这位被钉之主的形象如何改变,再看一看这和公教敬礼中对主的人性——尤其是受苦之人性——重视程度的高低之间,可以作出什么样的呼应,那将会是某位学者的一项极丰富的功课。)当然,在这里,单就审美来说,各种问题都挤了进来;要在所有描绘之中,把那些只是感伤、甚至甜腻作态的图像,和那些真正有真实性与忠诚度、并且不是单纯「催泪」的敬礼图像区分开来,将会是一件极其细致、也极易滑向自以为高雅的任务。因为,一旦置身十字苦像面前,我们就已经超越了单纯审美的边界,走进了一个在那里面,美学标准和艺术完整性都开始踉跄的境界。

As the centuries pass, this heroic image finds itself gradually replaced by the Suffering Servant, more and more obviously the Victim, until we reach the late Middle Ages, with the twisted, emaciated, and blood-spattered figure on the Cross. (To pursue the changing image of the crucified Lord from century to century, and also from country to country, and to see what corollaries could be drawn between this and the greater or lesser emphasis on the Sacred Humanity of the Lord in Catholic devotion would furnish a rich task for some scholar.) Questions of sheer taste press in closely here, of course; and to sort out sentimental, or even saccharine, depictings from those that exhibit authenticity and fidelity to a devotion that is not simply lachrymose would be an infinitely delicate task, and one beleaguered with the danger of snobbery. For in the presence of the Crucifix we have moved beyond the frontier of the merely aesthetic to a region where canons of taste and artistic integrity falter.

在许多非公教的基督徒当中,有一种广泛的看法,他们一听到十字苦像,就会说:「噢——我们敬拜的是复活的基督。」这样的批评,毫无疑问,是出自一个本身并不全错的观念:那就是,受难日并不是故事的结局,紧接着就是复活节。的确、的确,我们在祷告和恳求中所呼求的基督,并不是死的;保罗教导我们,他在天上活着,为我们代求,坐在父的右边,天上地下一切权柄都赐给他了;而他也藉着圣灵,活在我们心里。

There is a point of view, widespread among non-Catholic Christians, that dismisses the Crucifix with the remark, “Oh—we worship a Risen Christ.” This stricture springs, no doubt, from a notion that is not in itself wholly false, namely, that Good Friday was not the end of the story. Easter followed forthwith. Indeed, indeed—the Christ we invoke in our prayers and supplications is not dead. He is alive in heaven, St. Paul teaches us; he makes intercession for us, he is at the right hand of the Father, and all authority in heaven and earth has been given to him. And he is alive in our hearts in the person of the Holy Ghost.

这一切都是真的。而且,再多说一句,公教的虔敬生活——也许尤其是在各种民间敬礼形式里——有时的确显得极其专注在受苦的主和忧伤的圣母身上,以致于复活那荣耀的奥秘似乎被推到了后面;受难日的游行和哀礼,仿佛压过了复活节。

All of this is true. And, more than this, it has been the case that Catholic devotion, perhaps especially various forms of folk devotion, has from time to time seemed to focus with such ardor on the suffering Lord and his sorrowful Mother that the glorious mystery of the Resurrection has seemed to recede. Good Friday processions and obsequies have overwhelmed Easter.

abusus non tollit usus——「滥用并不废掉正用」。如果我们一而再、再而三地搬出「我们敬拜的是复活的基督」这句话,来攻击十字苦像本身的合宜性,以及它在基督徒虔敬生活中的中心地位,那我们就在不敬上有了罪,我们不过是用一句轻飘飘的口号,把一个大奥秘打发走了——这是万万行不通的。

But abusus non tollit usus. The abuse of a thing does not take away its proper use. If we find ourselves always trotting out our remark about worshipping a Risen Christ as a stricture against the propriety of the Crucifix and its centrality in Christian devotion, then we incur the guilt of impertinence. We have dismissed a great mystery with an airy slogan. It will not do.

因为,信心的眼睛在十字苦像上所看见的,是一个深不可测的奥秘,以至于连日头都昏暗了,磐石也崩裂了。十字苦像把我们吸引到这样一个点上:在这里,至高者亲自进入那败坏我们人性的罪恶与苦难之中。更进一步说,他是「为我们」进入其中的——「这是我的身体,为你们舍的」——而且,再进一步说,他甚至被这一切所压垮——「以利,以利……?」

For what the eye of faith perceives in the Crucifix is a mystery of such fathomless depth that the sun itself darkened and the rocks split apart. The Crucifix draws us to the point at which the Most High enters into the evil and suffering that despoils our humanity. And more than that: he enters into it for us (“This is my Body, broken for you”) and, more even than that, is overwhelmed by it (“Eli, Eli . . . ?”).

这一事件,本身并不是可以为了「教义上的精准」就被搁到一边的。虽然这黑暗事件之后紧接着就是复活,而复活使这件事得了成全,又以一种悖论方式用光明和荣耀充满了它,但这绝不表示,我们的敬礼和祷告就不应该在他受苦的那个时辰,和他联成一体——在那个时刻,他以最亲密的方式把自己和我们的苦难绑在一起。硬要用一种轻快而「精准」的口吻强调:「这位曾经在这里受过苦的,如今已经复活了」,是一个错误;同样,在一个孩子的坟墓敞开的时候,硬要用同样的「精准」对父母说:「我们将来都会复活」,也是错误的。日光之下万事都有定时,而在公教的敬礼当中,我们看见这种「定时」是被承认的。这种敬礼并不被年代顺序所捆绑;年代顺序可能会说:既然受难是在降生之后,我们就不应该再把那次诞生当作默想和祈祷的适当焦点;或是说:既然复活是在受难之后,我们也不应该再把十字架,和那挂在十字架上的受苦者,当作焦点,因为我们应该一直高举复活节的得胜。换句话说,公教的虔敬生活,是把救主救赎工作中的每一个层面都一一保留下来,因此,也就有了十字苦像。

This is not an event to be set to one side in the interest of doctrinal punctilio. The fact that the Resurrection followed this dark event and brought it to fruition and filled it, paradoxically, with light and glory does not suggest to us that our devotion and our prayer ought not to unite themselves to this One in the very hour of his suffering when he most intimately bound himself to ours. It is a mistake to insist, with sprightly accuracy, that the One who thus suffered here is now risen, just as it is a mistake, with similar accuracy, to insist to the parents at the open grave of their child that we will all one day be raised. There is a time for everything under the sun, and in Catholic devotion we find this acknowledged. Such devotion is not fettered to chronology, which might say that because the Crucifixion followed the Nativity, we should therefore set that birth to one side, as an inappropriate focus for our meditation and prayer, or that because the Resurrection followed the Crucifixion, we should similarly set the Cross, and the suffering figure on it, to one side since we must always exult in the victory of Easter. In other words, Catholic piety keeps alive every aspect of the Savior’s work of redemption. Hence the Crucifix.

苦难,是我们人性本身所处的状态;而「福乐」则是我们的命定——这个丰富的词里,包含着喜乐、丰收、福分、自由、荣耀。然而,没有一个必死的人生,可以在完全没有苦难的情形下,被称为是「真实地活过」。 (如果真的有哪一位快乐而特立独行的人,会自称一生从未受过苦,让所有人都大吃一惊,那我们大可不必提醒他:「我们所有的昨天,不过是引导愚人一路走向『尘土之死』」,他那种「从来没受过苦」的幸福豁免权,总有一天会在他解体那一刻,骤然终止。)

Suffering is the very condition of our humanity. Beatitude is our destiny, with all that is implied in that rich word: joy, fruition, bliss, freedom, glory. But there is no authentic living of mortal human life without suffering. (If there is that gay and unique person somewhere who would startle us all by claiming that life has never brought suffering to him, we need scarcely remind him that “all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death” and that this happy exemption of his will come to an abrupt end one fine day with his dissolution.)

苦难,是我们人性的处境。我们要走多远的路,才算把这个题目勾勒了一遍呢?这里有我们的邻居,他的年轻妻子正因癌症慢慢死去,而他还得勉强撑下去;那里有在罗马尼亚医院里的孤儿婴孩(或伊拉克的、卢旺达的、越南的),因营养不良而死,在这地上没有一个人哪怕知道他的名字;这里有一个女人,每天被粗暴的丈夫殴打,她仍竭尽所能,要让「家」这个字,对她的孩子来说多少还有点意义;这里有一个孩子,在父母恶言相向的离婚之后,他的世界被撕得支离破碎,只能按照法院的判决,在两个家之间被来回「转运」;那里有个瞎眼的穷人,手里拿着一个铁皮杯子,在丹吉尔的路边一动不动地坐着。

Suffering is the condition of our humanity. How far afield must we go in our canvass of this theme? Here is our neighbor, trying to carry on while his young wife dies slowly from cancer. Here is the infant orphan in the Romanian hospital (or the Iraqi, or the Rwandan, or the Vietnamese), dying of malnutrition without one single soul in this earth who knows so much as his name. Here is the woman, beaten daily by a churlish husband, doing what she can to make the word “home” have some rag of meaning for her children. Here is the child whose world has been wasted in the wake of his parents’ acrimonious divorce, shuttling between households by order of the court. And there is the blind pauper with his tin cup sitting motionless by the curb in Tangier.

更不用说那些丑角、易装者、歌舞女郎、杂耍场里的奇人怪客、酒吧里的钢琴手——他们的任务是让我们发笑,或至少分散我们的注意力;而在亮片和圆点衣饰之下,他们那些破灭了的盼望,一直在隐隐作痛,几乎要喊出来。

Not to mention the Pagliaccis, transvestites, chorus girls, sideshow freaks, and barroom pianists whose task it is to make us all laugh, or to divert us, while their disappointed hopes ache and all but cry out beneath the sequins and polka dots.

我们甚至可以在不流于矫情的前提下说:连动物所受的苦,在某个奥秘里,也都是「我们的」苦——因为起初正是我们的悖逆,招来了那咒诅;又因为,正如保罗所教导的,整个受造之物都一同叹息、劳苦,直到如今,等候得赎的日子;一到那时(见罗8章),我们这些人要得着释放,也就宣告了整片受造界要从苦难中被释放出来。想想那只阿拉斯加棕熊,啃断自己被铁夹夹住的脚掌;那只角马笨拙而惊恐地狂奔逃离猎豹,最后还是被扑倒、被撕成碎片;那只母狮悄悄跟踪那头虚弱瘦骨嶙峋的瞪羚,要给自己饥饿的幼崽弄来一点可怜的食物;那条狗,满心信任与盼望,看着一个又一个路人,却不知道自己其实已经被抛弃;那只野鸭,在空中盘旋、呱呱叫着,眼睁睁看着乌龟把她最后一只小鸭扯入水底。

We may go so far as to urge, without mere sentimentalism, that even the suffering of the animals is “our” suffering, in a mystery, since it was our disobedience that brought on the Curse, for a start, and also since, as St. Paul teaches, the whole creation groans and travails in pain, awaiting the redemption, at which point (see Romans 8) we (humans) will be set free, thus signalling the liberation of the whole of nature from its suffering. The Alaskan brown bear gnawing off the foot caught in the steel trap; the wildebeeste galloping in clumsy terror from the cheetah, only to be brought down and torn in pieces; the lioness stalking the faint and emaciated gazelle as a meager dish for her famine-starved cubs; the dog, all trust and hope, looking to one passerby after the other, unaware that he has been abandoned; the mallard, circling and quacking as the turtles pull the last of her ducklings under.

我们这样想,会不会显得太感伤了呢?我们诚心盼望的是:动物所受的痛苦,因为它们思考能力有限,而被大大减轻——我们是这样盼望的。但谁能在听见被猫扑住的兔子的尖叫、被赶出巢穴的鹪鹩那惊慌的啾啾声、或被绳子缠住的狗那哀号时,不忍不住在心里呻吟:「Kyrie, eleison!」(「主啊,怜悯」)呢?

Are we mawkish to think thus? We hope, most earnestly, that the suffering of animals is greatly dimmed by their limited capacity to think. We hope. But who can hear the scream of the rabbit seized by the cat, the frantic cheeping of the dispossessed wrens, or the howl of the dog tangled in his leash without groaning “Kyrie, eleison!”?

而当我们这样呻吟的时候,自己是站在什么地方呢?

And where do we find ourselves when we thus groan?

是在十字架脚下。

At the Cross.

但这并不是一根空十字架,好像一切工作都已经「做完了」那样。哦,当然,从逻辑和时间顺序来看(再加上一些相当严谨的神学),的确可以这样说——Consummatum est:「成了。」是的,我们知道,我们也抓住这一点不放。但那些「已经成了」的事,仍旧在时间里是现行的、实在的——也就是说,在我们这些属亚当族类的必死之人所必须经过的那条时间维度上,仍然在运作。复活节的得胜,带着空坟墓和大能复活之君,把罪、苦难和死亡都废掉了;但我们对这「废掉」的经历,并不是把它看成一个极短暂、毫无延续性的「数学点」,而是当作我们得救的处境:也就是藉着这个处境,我们被带进荣耀里。「被带进」——这个「带进」是要花时间的。我们活在时间里,我们在时间里受苦,我们如今还「不见万物都服他」。

But it is not an empty cross with the work finished and done. Oh, to be sure, logic and chronology (and some rigorous theologies) will dictate that it is so. Consummatum est. Yes. We know that. We cling to that. But that which is thus “finished” remains present and actual in time—in the dimension, that is, under which we mortals must experience what it is to belong to the race of Adam. The victory of Easter, with its empty tomb and mighty risen Prince, cancels sin, suffering, and death: but we experience that canceling, not as a mathematical point that has no longevity, so to speak, but rather as the condition of our salvation, that is, the condition by which we are brought to glory. Brought: this bringing takes time. We live in time. We suffer in time. We see not yet all things put under Thee.

作一个公教徒,就是要领受这个「已经成了」却又「仍在眼前」的悖论;是在祷告中,不断地汲取这个悖论所给我们的资源;是在救主把我们的忧伤、罪恶和苦难,亲身担当在那木头上时,把自己放在他脚前。

To be Catholic is to assume this paradox of “finished” and yet “still present”. It is to draw upon the paradox as one prays. It is to place oneself at the feet of the Savior as he bears our sadness, sin, and suffering in his own body on the Tree.

在这里,我们也可以顺便指出:类似的悖论,同样在圣餐中运作。耶稣基督掰开饼、举起杯的时候,对门徒说:「你们应当如此行,为的是记念我。」单单一个「记念」,只会把我们带回过去某一个已经定格的事件,好像我们只是在回想它;但主在这里用的希腊文词 anamnesis,却有「在记念中使之现前」的意思。教会一向都这样理解圣餐:弥撒是一种「记念」,而这种记念是一个真实进入加略山奥秘的行动。那在十字架上一次而永远所献上的牺牲,在弥撒中被「临现」出来;那件在时间上已经过去的事,在这里再次现前。那在十字架上被杀的羔羊,正是「创世以来被杀之羔羊」。礼仪刺穿了悬在时间与永恒之间的那层帷幕,把过去、现在、未来,都在庆典之中「带到现前」。在十字苦像上,也有一个并不完全不同的思想在运作。是的,那身体的确已经被取下来、埋葬、复活、升天,如今在天上神的右边;但即便是在天上,约翰所看见的,仍然是「有羔羊站立,像是被杀过的」。而当我们仰望十字苦像的时候,我们所看见的,正是这一点。

It may be observed at this point that a similar paradox is at work in the Eucharist. Jesus Christ said to his disciples, as he broke the bread and blessed the cup, “Do this for a remembrance of me.” A mere remembrance refers us to an incident fixed in the past, which we try to recall to mind. But the word the Lord used here, anamnesis, has the force of “a remembrance that is a making present”. The Church has always understood the Eucharist to be just such a remembrance. The Mass is a true entering into the mystery of Calvary. The Sacrifice, offered once for all at the Cross, is “made present” in the Mass. The event, in time, is now past. But the Lamb slain there is the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. The liturgy pierces the scrim that hangs between time and eternity, and past, present, and future are “made present” in the celebration. An idea not wholly unlike this is at work in the Crucifix. Yes, the body was taken down, buried, raised, ascended, and is now at God’s right hand in heaven. But even in heaven, there appeared to the eyes of St. John “a Lamb, as it had been slain”. This is what we see on the Cross as we gaze at the Crucifix.

这些悖论(公教虔敬生活更习惯称之为「奥秘」)在我们越想越深的时候,就越多:神怎样能为我们受苦呢?这种「代替」究竟是什么意思呢?——彼得说:「他被挂在木头上,亲身担当了我们的罪。」教会在以赛亚的话里听见同一个主题:「那知他为我们的过犯受害,为我们的罪孽压伤;……耶和华使我们众人的罪孽都归在他身上。……他诚然担当我们的忧患,背负我们的痛苦。」这怎么可能呢?从什么意义上说,这是真的呢?

The paradoxes (“mysteries” would be the word familiar to Catholic piety) multiply as we ponder it all. How can God suffer for us? What does this “substitution” mean—that St. Peter speaks of when he says, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree” (1 Pet 2:24)? The Church hears the same theme in the words of Isaiah: “By his stripes we are healed. . . . And the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. . . . Surely he hath borne his griefs and carried his sorrows” (Is 53:5-6, 4). How can this be? In what sense is it true?

当我们自己被自己的忧伤压得透不过气,或是面对某些悲惨景象——尤其是孩子和动物那种无辜的受苦——时,我们会格外认真地问这些问题。所有的悲伤似乎都集中在这一处、或那一处:在斯大林格勒、华沙、波士尼亚–黑塞哥维那那些哭泣的妇女身上。还能有比这更大的忧伤吗?从什么意义上说,这些忧伤已经被救主「担当」了呢?

We ask such questions with particular earnestness when we find ourselves crushed with our own sorrow or confronted with some tragic scene, especially of the suffering innocence of children and animals. All the sorrow seems to be concentrated just here, or there, in the weeping women of Stalingrad, Warsaw, or Bosnia Herzegovina. Can there be any sorrow greater than this? In what sense has it been “borne” by the Savior?

在这样的境地里,逻辑崩溃,同情本身也踉跄起来;即便是我们最勇敢地想要穿透奥秘的尝试,也不得不退缩,连信心本身都摇摇欲坠。这难道意味着:既然「另一位」已经担负了我们的忧伤,我们就不应该再感受到忧伤的重量了吗?有些轻率的神学,好像是这样教导的,但我们知道,这样的说法是对真理的歪曲。罪、忧伤、苦难,甚至死亡本身,的确在十字架上被除去了;然而,我们这些必死的人,仍然必须在实际经历中,进入这奥秘的深处。救主为我们担当了一切,这事实并不意味着我们就一点也不必担当;相反,它意味着,我们被邀请进入那个地方(十字架),在那里,苦难被改变了形貌。保罗说,我们(教会)是他的身体;既然如此,我们就「有分」于他为这世界生命所受的苦。

Logic collapses in these precincts. Sympathy itself falters. Our bravest attempts to penetrate the mystery draw back. Faith itself staggers. Does it mean that we should no longer feel the weight of our sorrow, since Another has carried it? Some pert theologies speak as though this should be the case, but we know that this claim is a travesty. Sin, sorrow, and suffering, and death itself, were indeed taken away at the Cross, but we mortals must enter into the depths of this mystery in actual experience. The fact that the Savior bore all this for us does not mean that we bear nothing of it; rather, it means that we are invited in to that place (the Cross) where suffering is transfigured. We (the Church) are his Body, says St. Paul. As such, we “share” in his suffering for the life of the world.

这正是那句古老的公教劝勉「把它献上吧」背后的含义。对那种严谨而逻辑化地强调「基督已经完成的工作」的新教传统来说,这句话是完全陌生的:你除了把自己这个罪人献上,求羔羊的宝血洗净以外,不能把别的什么献给神。

This is what lies behind the old Catholic injunction to “offer it up.” It is a phrase wholly unknown to Protestantism, with its rigorous and logical insistence on “the finished work of Christ”: you can’t offer anything to God except your sinful self, to be washed in the Blood of the Lamb.

从技术上说,这话是对的。但公教的虔敬生活,却想要更进一步进入保罗所说的那些话里,看看他到底是什么意思:他说要「补满基督患难的缺欠」,又说「我已经与基督同钉十字架」,又说「身上常带着耶稣的死」。这些话都被新教神学「整齐划一」地解释掉了;然而,古老的大公教会,从来没有这样轻易地就把这事「收尾」了。

This is accurate, technically. But Catholic piety wants to penetrate what St. Paul might mean when he speaks of “filling up that which is behind of the suffering of Christ” (Col 1:24) and of being crucified with Christ (Gal 2:20) and of “bearing about in my body the dying of the Lord Jesus” (2 Cor 4:10). All of this has been neatly reduced by Protestant theology. But the Ancient Church has never settled the matter so neatly.

「把它献上吧。」公教徒一想起当年修女这样教他们,要把一根倒刺、一只丢了的手套、或一个擦破皮的膝盖「献上」,就会会心一笑。「把它献上。」——献给谁?为什么?

“Offer it up.” Catholics chuckle when they recall the nuns enjoining them thus to offer a hangnail or a lost glove or a skinned knee. Offer it up. To whom? Why?

因为耶稣基督邀请我们这样做。他告诉跟随他的人,他们要喝他所喝的杯,要受他所受的洗——那时他指的,正是自己即将在耶路撒冷受的苦。那么,那套神学到哪里去了呢?那套说:「既然救主已经都做完了,我们就只好作个呆站在旁边的旁观者」的神学,到哪里去了呢?无论此刻的忧伤是一只丢了的手套、一位失去的配偶,还是一座被炸毁的城市,都是如此;神的怜悯在邀请我:把这可怕的损失——对小孩来说,手套丢了也许就像世界末日——与救主在加略山所受的苦,联合在一起。这样,我就发现:我的苦难是他的苦难;而——悖论中的悖论——他的苦难又是我们的苦难(再说一遍:我们是他的身体)。

Because Jesus Christ invites us to do so. He tells his followers that they will drink the cup of which he drank and be baptized with the baptism with which he was to be baptized (he was speaking specifically of his imminent suffering in Jerusalem). Where, suddenly, is the theology that teaches that because the Savior did it all, we thereby are reduced to the status of inert bystanders? Whether the sorrow of the moment is a lost glove or a lost spouse or a bombed city, I am invited by the Divine Mercy to unite this terrible loss (for the child, the loss of the glove may threaten the end of the world) with the suffering of the Savior at Calvary and thus to discover that my suffering is his suffering, and that—paradox of paradoxes—his is ours (again—we are his Body).

痛苦仍然在那里,并没有忽然消失。十字架就是十字架,不是魔术师的魔杖。而在那十字架上,公教徒的眼睛看见那一位,他把自己献上,改变了一切苦难的形貌。斯大林格勒仍然是一片废墟:十字架并没有挡住坦克和榴弹炮。但只要我把自己的忧伤与苦难——以及我的罪,罪的确是在这里被洗净的,因为这具 corpus(身体)就是那位「Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi」,「除去世人罪孽的神羔羊」——只要我把自己的重担带到这里来,跪下呼求帮助,在这个意义上,我就可以知道:救主正在接纳我所献上的,并把它与他在这里所献上的连成一体。

The pain is there. It has not suddenly evaporated. The Cross is the Cross, not a magician’s wand. And on that Cross Catholic eyes see the One whose self-offering transfigured all suffering. Stalingrad is still rubble: the Cross did not avert the Panzer howitzers. But insofar as I will bring my burden of sorrow and suffering (and sin: sins are indeed washed away here; this corpus is the Agnus Dei who taketh away the sin of the world)—insofar as I will bring my burden here, fall on my knees, and cry out for help, to that extent I may know that the Savior is receiving what I offer up and making it one with his own offering here.

圣徒在谈论「受苦」时,说的就是这一层意思。神的怜悯像炼金术一样,把那沉重如铅的重担变成宝贵的实质。红烙铁烫入殉道者的肉身时,他们到底是怎样经历那一刻的,我们无法知道;但我们知道,他们得着了能力,可以承担那痛苦,甚至令人难以置信地,能在其中歌唱、欢喜。对于逻辑那种眯着眼的打量来说,这一切都是含糊不清的,甚至是胡言乱语;然而,我们听见过成千上万位圣徒的见证,他们或在肉身上、或在里面的人上受过苦,他们告诉我们的并不仅仅是「得安慰」,而是「有喜乐」。

This is what the saints speak of when they speak of suffering. The Divine Mercy, like alchemy, transforms the leaden burden into precious substance. We cannot know just what the experience of the martyrs was as the red-hot iron entered their flesh, but we know that they were enabled to bear the pain and even, incredibly, to sing and rejoice. It is all opaque—nonsense, even—to the squint of logic, but we hear the testimony of a thousand saints who have suffered, either physically or in the inner man, and who tell us, not merely of consolations, but of joy.

当然,这里没有谁向我们保证「一定会有喜乐」:笼罩加略山的那黑暗何等浓重,很难想像神的儿子自己在他的受难中,会是一路阳光普照;我们是和他一同经过那死荫的幽谷。

There is no guarantee of joy, of course: the darkness that shrouds Calvary is thick, and it is scarcely believable that the Son of God himself had it all sunshine in his Passion. We go through that valley of the shadow of death with him.

但我们是与他一同经过——与谁呢?与——救主——Agnus Dei,神的羔羊——与这位挂在十字架上的。

But with him. With whom? Him—the Savior—the Agnus Dei—this figure on the Cross.

这就是为什么罗马公教会一直把十字苦像摆在我们眼前,邀请我们不但要默想这奥秘,也要跪下求助。我们这样做,难道是在向一块木头或一尊石膏像祈求吗?不——就像一个恋人凝视着爱人的画像时,并不是在自欺一样。

This is why the Roman Catholic Church keeps the Crucifix before our eyes and invites us not only to ponder the mystery but also to kneel and ask for succor. Do we importune a figure of wood or plaster when we do so? No—no more than a lover fools himself when he gazes at the portrait of his beloved.

这图像帮助我们收拢那四散的意念和情感,让一切都被聚焦;甚至在我们词穷的时候,它也会来救我们:那具身体在痛苦中弯曲,却张开双臂,用自己的形状而不是句子在对我们说:「凡劳苦担重担的人,可以到我这里来,我就使你们得安息。……你们当负我的轭,学我的样式……」。

The image assists us to gather our wayward thoughts and feelings. It focuses things. It may even come to our rescue if words fail: the corpus, bowed in agony but with arms stretched wide, says, not in sentences but in its very shape, “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. . . .”

我眼前所背负的重担,也许是忧伤:是华沙,是一个儿子因自己选择而自甘堕落;也许是肉身的痛苦:瘫痪、医院里那些令人难熬的检查、或关节炎;也许是罪——唉,是我自己的罪,或是我无论往哪里看都看见的那种作恶。

My burden of the moment may be sorrow: Warsaw, or a son debauched by his own choice. It may be physical suffering: paralysis, painful hospital tests, or arthritis. Or it may be sin—my own, alas, or the evil that regales me wherever I look.

就罪而言,作一个公教徒,就是要在十字架上的这一位身上,同时看见审判和怜悯的冠冕。这里正是罪被「除去」之处,正如以色列人的罪藉着坛上无辜羔羊的被杀而「被除去」那样。(当然,《希伯来书》教导我们,那里的真相是:牛羊的血断不能除罪,他们所预表的那一位真正的祭,就是加略山这座祭坛上所献的祭,才真能除去我们的罪。)我们在这祭里,看见神的审判:「若不流血,罪就不得赦免了。」耶稣基督的血,就是我被赎出来所付的「赎价」——「他舍自己作万人的赎价」。因此,作一个公教徒,就是要来这里跪下,带着痛悔、也带着感谢,并立定心志,要离弃自己的罪。十字苦像是一个极有力量的标记,在它的面前,我对罪的一切讨好和妥协,都原形毕露,显出它们何等污秽。

With respect to sin, to be Catholic to see both Judgment and Mercy crowning the figure on the Cross. Here is where sin is “taken away”, as the sins of Israel were taken away by the slaughter of innocent lambs on their altars. (The truth there, of course, as the Book of Hebrews teaches us, is that the blood of lambs and goats could never take away sins but that the Sacrifice they anticipated, namely, this Sacrifice here on the altar of Calvary, does take our sins away.) We see the judgment of God in this Sacrifice: “Without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins” (Heb 9:22). The blood of Jesus Christ is the “price” of my ransom (1 Tim 2:6). Hence, to be Catholic is to come and kneel, with penitence, and also with thanksgiving and the resolve to put away my sin. The Crucifix is a powerful emblem in the presence of which all of my truckling with sin is laid bare in all of its squalor.

但这十字苦像也同时把我召到另一个地方:在那里,我对别人犯罪时所生的恼怒与愤慨,必须因着神亲自向罪人所施的怜悯(而我在罪人当中是首席)而被收回。日常生活中,是什么事情会挑起我的怒火呢?有人在售票窗口插队?高速公路上某位司机那种要命的「血性」?地方、省、联邦各级政府里那些委员会、理事会、专家小组的愚蠢低效?纳税人钱财被大肆浪费?对儿童、动物或穷人的残忍?某位被照顾的老人,却表现出又毒又自我中心的忘恩负义?这样的列举,可以一直写下去。

But this Crucifix bids me also to the place where my exasperation or ire over others’ sins must be forsworn in the name of the Mercy that God himself offers to the perpetrators of sin (I being the chief among them). What is it that rouses my ire in the passing scene? Someone cutting into the line at the ticket window? Bloody-mindedness on the part of some driver on the freeway? Cretinous inefficiency on the part of committees, boards, and panels of experts in local, state, or federal government? Monumental waste of taxpayers’ money on all sides? Cruelty to children, animals, or the poor? Poisonous ingratitude and self-absorption on the part of some old person being cared for? The list goes on and on.

而我心中的怒气就此沸腾起来。「这里需要立刻的报应,」我在心里说,「要是我有权力,可以马上、也可以最终把一切都纠正过来就好了。如果一切都由我作主……」

And my ire seethes. Swift vengeance is what we want here, I say. Oh, for the power to set things right forthwith and finally. If I were in control . . .

但当十字苦像在眼前高高耸立时,这些话就死在我舌头上了。「啊,Domine Deus——主我的神。」我只能说:「主啊,离开我,我是个罪人!主啊,你到我舍下,我不敢当。」因为「你们怎样论断人,也必怎样被论断;你们用什么量器量给人,也必用什么量器量给你们」。

The words die on my tongue as the Crucifix looms. Ah, Domine Deus. Depart from me, Lord: I am only a sinful man. Lord, I am not worthy. “With what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged” (Mt 7:2).

我罪的审判,已经在加略山显明出来了。我难道还盼望有另一套、更加严苛的审判,临到别人身上吗?当十字架上的这一位看着我时,我还能继续怀抱这样的心愿吗?

The judgment on my sins revealed itself at Calvary. Do I wish a separate, and stricter, judgment to come upon everyone else? Can I maintain such a wish as the figure on the Cross looks on me?

不能。因为在那一瞥当中,我被呼召进入一个境域:在那里,一切都是饶恕;而每一次我说「免我们的债,如同我们免了人的债」时,我就被邀请预备自己进入这一境域。我不仅没有被邀请去参与审判别人的罪,反倒是被赐了一个高贵的机会:就是当那位被钉者喊出「父啊,赦免他们」的时候,我的声音可以与他同声。这,且只有这,才应该是我在想到别人罪时的祷告。

No. For in that look I am bidden to the region where all is forgiveness and for which I have been invited to prepare myself every time I have said “and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Not only have I not been asked to participate in judging the sins of others: I have been offered the noble opportunity to join my voice with that of the Crucified as he cries out, “Father, forgive them.” That, and that alone, is to be my prayer as I think of others’ sins.

这是一个一点也不容易的功课。也许,在我身上的起点,只能是:我得靠着一股强硬的意志,逼自己出这样的话(甚至要大声说出来——大到足以淹没我胸中那些叫嚣着要报复的声音):「求你拯救我们(所有人)脱离地狱之火,引领众灵魂上天堂,尤其是那些最需要你怜悯的人」(从我这个动辄咒骂别人的人开始)。

It is not an easy lesson. It may begin in me by my having, by main force, by an act of sheer will, to say (loudly, it may be—loud enough to drown out the vindictive voices clamoring in my breast), “save us (all) from the fires of hell; lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy” (beginning with me, the vituperative one).

作一个公教徒,就是要在十字苦像面前,直面这一切;图像在这里帮助了我。正因为如此,罗马公教会才一直把十字苦像摆在我们眼前。

To be Catholic is to confront all of this in the presence of the Crucifix. The image helps me. This is why the Roman Catholic Church has kept the Crucifix before our eyes at all times.