居家退省

与 A Do-It-at-Home Retreat 对照
André Ravier, S.J.
居家退省神操

第一周

FIRST WEEK

罪打碎了神爱的计划。
罪人不再与神同住
在儿子与父的关系中。

Sin shatters God’s plan of love.
The sinner no longer lives with God
in a relation of son to Father.

如果我处在罪的状态中,
为了回到神的爱中,我必须
诚实地认识我的过错,
被困惑和悔改所感动,
诚恳地向天父和教会
请求赦免,
并倚靠神的帮助
转向更美好的未来。

If I am in the state of sin,
in order for me to return to the love of God I must
honestly recognize my faults,
be moved by confusion and repentance,
sincerely ask pardon for them
from my Father in heaven and from the Church,
and relying on God’s help
I must turn toward a better future.

如果我已经被赦免
或者我一直忠于我的洗礼誓约,
我必须认识到,
正如圣保罗所说,
「我今日成了何等人,
是蒙神的恩才成的」(林前15:10)。

If I have already been pardoned
or if I have remained faithful to my baptismal promises,
it is essential that I recognize,
according to St. Paul’s expression, that
“what I am now
I am through the grace of God” (1 Cor 15:10).

第一周是谦卑和慷慨的一周,
是必要洁净的一周。
它的目的是在我里面培养一种态度,
这态度应该成为我属灵生命的永久特征。

The First Week is the week of humility and generosity,
the week of necessary purifications.
Its purpose is to create in me an attitude that ought to be
a permanent feature of my spiritual life.

第三天:我们必须透过神的眼光看罪,而不是透过世界的眼光

Third Day: WE MUST SEE SIN THROUGH GOD’S EYES, NOT THE EYES OF THE WORLD

把自己置于神的同在中,做预备祷告。求他激励你。

Put yourself in the presence of God and make the preparatory prayer. Ask him to inspire you.

场景构想

Composition of Place

我要把自己投入这三个人中的一个角色;我要承担他们的感受,使之成为我自己的:

I will cast myself in the role of one of these three individuals; I will assume their sentiments and make them my own:

——路加福音18:13中的税吏,「远远地站着……连举目望天也不敢」。

— The tax collector in Luke 18:13, who “stood some distance away . . . not daring even to raise his eyes to heaven”.

——路加福音15:18中的浪子说:「我在这里饿死吗?我要起来,到我父亲那里去。」

— The prodigal son in Luke 15:18, who said, “Here I am dying of hunger! I will leave this place and go to my Father.”

——路加福音23:41中各各他的好贼:「我们所受的与我们所做的相称。」

— The good thief at Calvary in Luke 23:41: “In our case we deserved [the sentence we were given].”

我要向我们的主神求我所要和所愿的。在这里我要求能清楚地看到我如何犯罪,并感受到福音中所描述的罪的严重性,使我若经常犯罪就会为自己感到忧伤和羞愧。如果主到如今保守我在洗礼的纯洁中,我就求能感恩、谦卑和警醒。

I will ask God our Lord for what I want and desire. Here I will ask to see clearly in what way I have sinned and to feel the gravity of sin as it is described in the Gospel so that I may be sorry and ashamed of myself if I have committed sin often. And I will ask to be grateful, humble, and vigilant if the Lord has kept me until now in my baptismal innocence.

第一点:路西弗和他的天使们的堕落

First Point: The Fall of Lucifer and His Angels

我的记忆会提醒我圣经和教会所教导的:路西弗和他的天使们被造时是在恩典的状态中,但他们背叛了神。他们的过错是骄傲的过错。他们从恩典的状态堕入罪的状态。他们与神隔绝,被神咒诅。这就是地狱。

My memory will remind me what the Bible and the Church teach: created in the state of grace, Lucifer and his angels revolted against God. Their fault was a fault of pride. They then went from the state of grace to the state of sin. They were separated from God, cursed by God. This is hell.

接下来我要运用我的理解力来思考这个主题。我要衡量原罪的重量,它歪曲了一切完美,无论多么美好(法利赛人的想法)。我要意识到需要承认神是一切善和一切美德的创造者。我要回想一个致死的罪在可见世界(犹大的故事)或不可见世界(奥秘身体)中所产生的灾难性后果,相比之下,我要回想神的一个爱的行动所带来的善(圣保罗的归信;马利亚在报喜时的应允,等等)。

Next I will apply my understanding to this subject. I shall assess the weight of original sin, which misrepresents every perfection, however beautiful it is (the idea of the Pharisee). I will become aware of the need of recognizing God as the author of every good and of every virtue. I will call to mind the disastrous effects resulting from one sole mortal sin either in the visible world (the account of Judas) or in the invisible world (the Mystical Body), and in contrast, I shall recall the good that has come from one act of God’s love (the conversion of St. Paul; Mary’s Yes at the Annunciation, etc.).

我的意志,在信心的帮助下,将尽可能深入地探究罪的奥秘的核心(特别是骄傲的罪),认识到它对天父的忘恩负义,它的「愚妄」。无论是出声还是在心里,我都要以我所能聚集的全部诚意,做出悔改、坚定改过、感恩和谦卑的行动。

My will, aided by faith, will penetrate as deeply as possible into the core of the mystery of sin (particularly the sin of pride), to appreciate its ingratitude, its “folly” toward God the Father. Either vocally or mentally, and with all the sincerity I can muster, I will make acts of repentance, of a firm purpose of amendment, of gratitude, of humility.

第二点:人的罪

Second Point: Man’s Sin

我的记忆会让我回想创世记中关于罪的记载及其属灵信息:神在原始公义中创造男人和女人,神把他们置于所有受造物之上并邀请他们与他合作完成创造时所赐予他们的信任,神的禁令,女人和男人为要「如神一样」而不顺服,失去原始恩典,罪进入世界。因此神的计划似乎受到了阻挠。

My memory will conjure up for me the Genesis account of sin in terms of its spiritual message: the creation of man and woman in original justice, the confidence God bestowed upon them when he put them over all creatures and invited them to collaborate with him in his completion of creation, God’s prohibition, the woman’s and man’s disobedience in order to “be like gods”, the loss of original grace, and the entrance of sin into the world. Hence God’s plan seemed thwarted.

我的理解力将反思这些圣经事实。它将不是用人的天平(一个短暂且几乎不严重的人的行为)来衡量罪,而是用神的天平(与神的关系破裂,创造被改变,人的良心受伤,耶稣基督在十字架上的苦难和死亡为罪作出补赎,秩序的重建,与父的和好以及和平的恢复,人与人之间的仁爱)。

My understanding will reflect on these Biblical facts. It will weigh sin not with human scales (a passing and hardly serious human act) but with divine scales (the relationship with God broken, creation altered, the human conscience wounded, the sufferings and death of Jesus Christ on the Cross to make repara tion for sin, the reestablishment of order, the reconciliation with the Father and the restoration of peace, charity among men).

我的意志,坚决地立足于信心的层面,将以全部力量坚持神在圣经中向我们启示的关于罪的严重性、关于救赎、关于他对悔改之罪人的怜悯。效法至圣童贞马利亚,它将献上自己,积极地与基督一同参与世界救赎的伟大工作,参与在这世界各处恢复公义。

My will, placing itself resolutely on the level of faith, will adhere with all its strength to what God has revealed to us in the Bible about the gravity of sin, about the redemption, about his compassion for the repentant sinner. In imitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary it will offer itself to participate energetically with Christ in the great work of the redemption of the world, in the restoration of justice everywhere in this world.

第三点:被定罪下地狱之人的罪

Third Point: The Sin of Someone Condemned to Hell

我们必须谨慎,不要给任何特定的「被定罪」的人贴上标签。谁知道神的奥秘?和他的怜悯?我们只需说到耶稣清楚地承认地狱的存在。

We must beware of putting a name on any particular person who is damned. Who knows Gods secrets? And his mercy? We proceed no further than to say that Jesus clearly acknowledged the existence of hell.

我们只需提醒自己圣经中的某些话,例如,这些严厉的警告:「绊倒人的事是免不了的,但那绊倒人的有祸了!就是把大磨石拴在这人的颈项上,沉在海里,还强如他」(路17:1)。「倘若你一只手叫你跌倒,就把它砍下来;你缺了肢体进入永生,比有两只手落到地狱里去……那里的火是不灭的,要强得多」(可9:43-48)。

We simply remind ourselves of certain words found in Scripture, for example, these severe warnings: Causes of falling are sure to come, but alas for the one through whom they occur! It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone around his neck (Luke 17:1). And if your hand should be your downfall, cut it off; it is better for you to enter into life crippled than to have two hands and go to hell . . . where the fire will never be put out (Mark 9:43-48).

我要运用我的理解力努力领悟这些话的含义。例如:良善和怜悯的主已经向像我这样软弱和受试探的可怜人显明了这些现实。因此罪是严重的事——是我必须考虑的最严重的事情之一。这关系到我永恒的生命或死亡。

I will make use of my understanding in my effort to penetrate the meaning of these words. Thus, for example: the Lord of goodness and compassion has revealed these realities to poor men like myself who are weak and tempted. Sin therefore is something that is serious — one of the most serious matters I have to consider. It is my everlasting life or death that is at stake.

我要意识到没有神的扶持,没有他的力量,我的意志是何等软弱。因着这种认识,我不仅要做出悔改和谦卑的行动,还要做出信靠和交托的行动。耶稣说:「离了我,你们就不能做什么」(约15:5),而圣保罗说:「我是属乎肉体的,是已经卖给罪了。因为我所做的,我自己不明白。我所愿意的,我并不做;我所恨恶的,我倒去做」(罗7:14-15)。

I will become aware of the weakness of my will without God there to sustain it, without his strength. As a consequence of this realization I shall make not only acts of repentance and humility but also acts of confidence and abandonment. Jesus said, Cut off from me you can do nothing (John 15:5), and St. Paul, I am a creature of flesh and blood sold as a slave to sin. I do not under- stand my own behavior. I do not act as I mean to, but I do things that I hate” (Rom. 7:14–15).

以与基督对话的形式祷告

Prayer in the Form of a Conversation with Christ

想象我们的主基督被钉在十字架上在我面前,我要与他交谈,问他为什么作为创造主的他却成为人;为什么他从永恒的生命来到世上,在特定的时刻为我的罪死这样的死。

Imagining Christ our Lord before me nailed to the Cross, I will speak with him, asking him how it is that though he is the Creator, he has become man; and how it is that he came from eternal life to die such a death for my sins at a particular time.

然后,*省察自己,*我要问

Then, looking into myself, I will ask

——我为基督做了什么?

— What have I done for Christ?

——我将为基督做什么?

— What will I do for Christ?

——我应该为基督做什么?

— What ought I to do for Christ?

最后,看到他在这种境况中,被钉在十字架上,我要思考浮现在我脑海中的一切。

Finally, in seeing him in this plight, nailed to the Cross, I will ponder over whatever presents itself to my mind.

我要以诵念主祷文结束默想。

I will finish the meditation by reciting the Our Father.

注意: 这个交谈,只要是极其个人化的,就是神操中最重要的部分之一。它关系到我此时此地的生命,而不是我的过去。正是在我现在的状态中,我应该「安排」我明天的行动方式。每个人都有他的历史;每个人都有他的命运。退省者应该在基督在十字架上完成他的命运面前,思考这个由过去和未来组成的存在整体。

Note: This colloquy, provided that it is extremely personalized, is one of the most important in the Spiritual Exercises. It pertains to my life here and now, not my past. It is in my present state that I should “order” the way I shall act tomorrow. Each person has his history; each one has his destiny. It is this existential ensemble of past and future that the retreatant ought to ponder before Christ accomplishing his destiny on the Cross.

第四天:审视我个人的罪

Fourth Day: LOOKING AT MY PERSONAL SINS

把自己置于神的同在中,做预备祷告。
求他激励你。

Put yourself in the presence of God and make the preparatory prayer.
Ask him to inspire you.

场景构想

Composition of Place

这可以与前一个操练相同。我要求我所要和所愿的。 在这里将是对我的罪真诚的悔改和真实的忧伤。

This can be the same as for the preceding exercise. I will ask for what I want and desire. Here it will be sincere repentance and genuine sorrow for my sins.

第一点:回顾我的罪

First Point: The Review of My Sins

我要回想我生命中所有的罪,逐年或分阶段回顾我的生命。以下分类将帮助我进行这种思考:

I will call to mind all the sins of my life, reviewing my life year by year or period by period. The following classifications will help me in this consideration:

(1)我住在哪里,
(2)我与他人的交往,
(3)我有什么责任;我生命中的呼召。

(1) where I have lived,
(2) my dealings with others,
(3) what responsibilities I have had; my calling in life.

然而,我们应该避免列出一个法律式的、过分细致的清单,更要警惕任何形式的过分拘谨。这种回顾应该在圣灵的光照下进行;也就是说,应该在敬拜、感恩和对充满恩典的生命的深切感激的氛围中进行。
第二点:我要衡量我的罪和它们的混乱的严重性

We should avoid, however, drawing up a juridical, meticulous inventory, and even more we should watch out for any type of scrupulosity. This review should be done in the light of the Holy Spirit; that is to say, it should be done in an atmosphere of adoration, gratitude, and a deep appreciation of a grace-filled life.
Second Point: I Will Weigh My Sins and the Gravity of Their Disorder

每一个大罪——在某种程度上任何罪——本身就是对人的良心的违背,而且常常是对他人的冒犯。即使神没有明确禁止,也是如此。因此,罪是我个人生命和我与他人关系中的混乱。

Every capital sin—and to a certain extent any sin—is in itself a transgression against mans conscience and very often an offense against others. This is so even if God did not expressly forbid it. Sin, then, is a disorder in my own personal life and in my dealings with others.

第三点:我要诚实地思考我在神面前是谁

Third Point: I Will Honestly Consider Who I Am before God

我是谁?(1)与所有人相比,我算什么?(2)与所有天使和圣徒相比,人算什么?本页无脚注文本(3)与神相比,所有的天使和圣徒又算什么?

Who am I? (1) What am I compared to all men? (2) What are men compared with all the angels and saints?footnote text not present on this page (3) What are all the angels and saints compared with God?

那么,单单是我自己,我在神面前又算什么?

Then, just myself, what am I before God?

就是这样一个软弱、有限的存在,竟然站起来反对神说:「我不会服侍。我不会顺服。」每一个罪的核心都与撒但的叛逆有某些共同之处。

So it is this weak, finite being who stands up against God and says, I will not serve. I will not obey. There is something in common with Satans revolt at the core of every sin.

意识到我的罪实际上是什么——即使是那些当时在我看来似乎无关紧要但我完全同意的罪——使我得出结论:我把自己置于神之上。

Being aware of what my sins are in reality—even those that at the time seemed to me to be of little consequence but to which I fully consented—makes me conclude that I have preferred myself to God.

第四点:我要转向神,对他说:

Fourth Point: I Will Turn toward God and Say to Him:

主啊,你是谁?你是谁?

Who are you, Lord? Who are you?

我要这样比较他的智慧与我的无知,他的能力与我的软弱,他的公义与我的罪孽,他的良善与我的邪恶,他的爱与我的自私,等等。只有当我们将罪的严重性和地狱的痛苦与「神爱我们的那种非凡的爱」对比时,才能正确理解它们。

And I will in this way compare his wisdom with my ignorance, his power with my weakness, his justice with my iniquity, his goodness with my wickedness, his love with my selfishness, etc. The gravity of sin and the pains of hell are understood properly only when we contrast them with the extraordinary love with which God has loved us.

第五点:深深的惊叹和巨大的感恩现在淹没了我

Fifth Point: Profound Wonder but Also Immense Gratitude Now Overwhelm Me

主在我犯罪的时候饶恕了我。受造物没有起来反对我,反而保持顺服,支持我,即使在我对创造主说「不」的时候。神的创造工作继续为我进行,为我的享受而继续。如果我真的意识到他的这种忍耐,用圣依纳爵的话说,「一声伴随着涌动情感的惊叹」就会从我嘴里发出。还有圣布鲁诺的祈愿:「啊,纯全的良善!」

The Lord spared me at the time of my sin. Creation did not rise up against me but remained subdued, supportive, while I was saying no to the Creator. Gods work of creation continued on for me and for my enjoyment. Had I really been aware of this patience of his, a cry, in St. Ignatius words, of wonder accompanied by surging emotion would have escaped my lips. And then there is St. Brunos aspiration: Oh, pure goodness!

我要先向圣母祷告来结束我们的默想。我要请求她从她的儿子那里为我获得三种恩典:(1)能以他的眼光看我的罪,像他憎恶罪一样憎恶罪的恩典;(2)能感受到,甚至到感到羞耻的地步,对我生命中罪恶的混乱的憎恶,好使我能把它整顿好的恩典;(3)能分辨世界上什么是善什么是恶,好使我憎恶邪恶并把它从我身边除去的恩典。然后我要诵念圣母祷文。

I will conclude our meditation by addressing a prayer first to our Lady. I will ask her to obtain for me three graces from her Son: (1) the grace to see my sin with his eyes and to detest it as he detests it; (2) the grace to feel, even to the point of experiencing shame, an abhorrence for the disorder of what is sinful in my life so that I can put it in order; (3) the grace to discern what is good and what is evil in the world so that detesting what is evil I can put it away from me. I will then say a Hail Mary.

之后我要向耶稣做同样的祈求,请求他从他的父那里为我获得这些恩典。然后我要诵念一些祷文,比如基督的身体。

Afterward I will make the same petitions to Jesus, asking that he obtain from his Father these graces for me. Then I will say some prayer such as the Body of Christ.

最后,我要向父祈求,请求他,永恒的主,赐给我这三种恩典。然后我要诵念主祷文。

Finally, I will address the Father, asking that he, the Lord eternal, grant me these three graces. Then I will say an Our Father.

第五天:怜悯的交谈

Fifth Day: Colloquy of Mercy

我们已经在40-42页注意到,重复是最有效的操练。我们将在这里使用它。在我们昨天做的省察后,今天回去思考第三天默想结束时那段精彩的怜悯的交谈会很好。

We have already noted on pages 40-42 that the repetition is a most effective Exercise. We shall use it here. After the examination of conscience we made yesterday, it will be good today to go back and consider that magnificent colloquy of mercy that ended our meditation of the Third Day.

把自己置于神的同在中,做预备祷告。
求他激励你。

Put yourself in the presence of God and make the preparatory prayer.
Ask him to inspire you.

场景构想

Composition of Place

「想象我们的主基督在你面前被钉在十字架上……看着他在这种境况中,被钉在十字架上。」

Imagine Christ our Lord present before you nailed to the Cross . . . seeing him in this plight, nailed to the Cross.

让我们仔细看我们的十字架:我们带着我们个人的罪的重担站在他面前,而且,因为我们是教会的成员,也带着世界的罪的重量。

Let us look closely at our crucifix: we stand before him with the burden of our personal sins and also, because we are members of the Church, with the weight of the sins of the world.

我要求我所要和所愿的:

I will ask for what I want and desire:

  • ——在基督十字架的光照下更好地在内心理解罪的奥秘,
  • ——像神看待和理解罪那样看待和理解罪,而不是像世界判断它那样。
  • — in the light of the Cross of Christ better to understand interiorly the mystery of sin,
  • — to see and understand sin as God sees and understands it, not as the world judges it.

第一点:「问他为什么作为创造主的他却成为人」

First Point: Asking Him How It Is That though He Is the Creator, He Has Become Man

确实,这是一个奥秘。要领会它,我们必须问神自己。只有他能回答。

Indeed, this is a mystery. To appreciate it, we must ask God himself. He alone can respond.

让我们慢慢读圣保罗在腓立比书2:6-7中表达他的惊讶和赞叹的段落:耶稣基督「本有神的形像,不以自己与神同等为强夺的。反倒虚己,取了奴仆的形像,成为人的样式。」

Let us slowly read the passage where St. Paul expresses his astonishment and admiration in Philippians 2:6-7: Jesus Christ, being in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped at. But he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, becoming as human beings are.

这是神的儿子自我降卑的第一步。

This is the first step of the Son of Gods self-abasement.

确实,神的道行事的方式与罪人行事的方式恰恰相反。

Indeed, the Word of Gods way of proceeding is exactly the opposite of the way a sinner operates.

——叛逆是罪人的动机。对基督来说是无私和顺服。

— Revolt is the motivation for the sinner. For Christ it is selflessness and obedience.

——对罪人来说是骄傲。对基督来说是放下他神性的特权;是谦卑,甚至拥抱羞辱。

— For the sinner it is pride. For Christ it is stripping himself of his divine prerogatives; it is humility and even embracing humiliations.

与他相比,我们离任何有条件的、算计的爱有多远啊!

With him how far we are from any type of love that is conditional, calculated!

*道成了肉身……*道成了肉身……敬拜……

Verbum caro The Word was made flesh Adore.

人性得到何等的提升!

What a refinement of human nature!

「你们会如神一样」,撒但对男人和女人说,他们就犯了罪。

You will be like gods, Satan said to the man and woman, and they sinned.

而现在这已经实现了,甚至超过了实现:人,在与道成肉身者联合时,成为神的儿子,与神「合一」。

And now that has been realized, and even more than realized: man, in uniting himself with the Word Made Flesh, becomes a son of God, is one with God.

第二点:「他怎么从永恒的生命进入了今世的死亡?」

Second Point: How Is It That He Has Passed from Eternal Life to Death Here in Time?

这是第二个令人惊讶的原因,这个奥秘比道成肉身更令人困惑:他向我们显明自己是永生(「我就是生命」,「我是复活和生命」),却经历了今世的死亡,十字架上的死亡。
在上面引用的腓立比书的段落中,圣保罗描述基督在十字架上的死亡是他所有自我降卑行动的最后一步:「既有人的样子,就自己卑微,存心顺服,以至于死,且死在十字架上」(腓2:7-8)。

This is the second cause of astonishment, the mystery that is even more bewildering than the Incarnation: he who is presented to us as Life everlasting (I am the Life, I am the Resurrection and the Life) knows death in time, death on the Cross.
In the passage from Philippians cited above, St. Paul describes Christ’s death on the Cross as the final step in all his actions of self-abasement: “And being in every way like a human being, he was humbler yet, even being obedient unto death, death on a cross” (Phil 2:7–8).

确实,神在十字架上的死对人来说是绊脚石和愚拙。正如圣保罗所写:「我们却是传钉十字架的基督,在犹太人为绊脚石,在外邦人为愚拙,但在那蒙召的人……基督总为神的能力,神的智慧」(林前1:23)。

Indeed, this death of God on a cross is a stumbling block and folly for men. As St. Paul wrote: “We are preaching a crucified Christ: to the Jews an obstacle they cannot get over, to the gentiles foolishness, but to those who have been called . . . a Christ who is both the power of God and the wisdom of God” (I Cor 1:23).

以前,死亡对人的理智来说是一个障碍和绊脚石,但当它涉及到那位说自己是「永生」的他时,这障碍和绊脚石又何其大呢?只有复活才能解决——在某种程度上——这个问题,才能解决这个表面的矛盾。

Before, death had been an obstacle and a scandal to human intelligence, but how much more of an obstacle and scandal is it when it includes him who said that he was “Life Everlasting”? Only the Resurrection could solve—up to a point—this problem and could resolve this apparent contradiction.

然而耶稣基督甚至走到了那一步。

And yet Jesus Christ went even as far as that.

第三点:对这两个「为什么」的唯一回答

Third Point: The Only Response to These Two “How Is It That’s?”

只有一个答案:「神就是爱」(约一4:8)。

Only one answer: “God is love” (1 John 4:8).

「神爱世人,甚至将他的独生子赐给他们」(约3:16)。

“God so loved the world that he sent his only son” (John 3:16).

「不是我们爱神,乃是神爱我们,差他的儿子为我们的罪作了挽回祭,这就是爱了」(约一4:10)。

“Love consists in this: it is not we who loved God, but God loved us and sent his Son to expiate our sins” (1 John 4:10).

但如果需要如此大的爱来补赎我们的罪,那么罪就是一件严重的事,无限严重的事。在道德和属灵层面上,这不是最严重的事吗?

But if so much love was necessary to make amends for our sins, then sin is a grave matter, infinitely grave. Is it not true that on the moral and spiritual plane it is the most grave matter there is?

确实如此。因为它破坏了神从永恒就为人确定的「旨意和美意」。需要神的受难和死亡才能使我们重新进入与三位一体神的亲密关系。
第四点:「然后我要反省自己并问:『我为基督做了什么?我正在为基督做什么?我应该为基督做什么?』」

Indeed. For it ruins “the purpose and good pleasure” that God had determined for man from all eternity. It would take the Passion and death of God to reintroduce us into the intimacy of the Trinity.
Fourth Point: Then I Will Reflect upon Myself and Ask: What Have I Done for Christ? What Am I Doing for Christ? What Ought I to Do for Christ?

我要看看现在的我是什么样子。我现在的状态与我一直在默想的内容有什么联系?我应该只在我所蒙受的爱的光照下看我的生命。爱的法则是严格的。圣依纳爵说:「要注意两点:第一是爱应该在行为上而不是在言语上表现出来。」第二是「爱在于相互分享美善」。

I will look at myself now as I am at the present moment. What is the connection between me now and what I have been meditating on? I should see my life only in the light of the love with which I am loved. The law of love is exacting. St. Ignatius remarked: It is good to call attention to two points: the first is that love ought to manifest itself in deeds rather than in words. The second is that love consists in a mutual sharing of goods.

(1)「我为基督做了什么?」更多的是对我自己、对我爱的吝啬和冷淡感到困惑和羞愧,而不是对我的罪,我不应该费心去数算罪。

(1) What have I done for Christ? More of a confusion and shame about myself and about the niggardliness and lukewarmness of my love than about my sins, which I should not bother to enumerate.

(2)「我正在为基督做什么?」我生命的平庸。我的缺点。我缺乏目标和勇气。

(2) What am I doing for Christ? The mediocrity of my life. My defects. My lack of purpose and courage.

(3)「我应该为基督做什么?」一个坚定的目标。在一个超越坚定目标的理想生命中。圣保罗给歌罗西人的信息为我们指出了爱的道路:「为基督的身体,就是为教会,要在我肉身上补满基督患难的缺欠」(西1:24)。

(3) What ought I to do for Christ? A firm purpose. In an ideal life that goes beyond the firm purpose. St. Pauls message to the Colossians maps out for us the way to love: I make up for what is lacking in the sufferings of Christ for the sake of his body, the Church (Col I:24).

让我们注意「为基督」这个像副歌一样重复的短语。我们面对的不是一个准则,一条法律,而是一位爱我们并呼召我们以爱回应的主:「基督教中的一切」,克洛岱尔说,「总是归结为面对面的相遇。」

Let us note for Christ, a phrase that is repeated over again like a refrain. We are not face to face with a code, a law, but with Someone who loves us and who calls us to love in return: Everything in Christianity, Claudel said, always comes down to a face-to-face encounter.

我要以一个最亲密的主祷文结束这个默想(这只是与基督的一段长对话),我要非常缓慢地诵读。神对人和受造物的计划完全包含在这个「我们的救主教导我们的」祷告中。

I will end this meditation (which is merely a long dialogue with Christ) with a most intimate Our Father, which I will recite very slowly. Gods plan for man and for creation is contained in its entirety in this prayer, which our Savior has taught us.

第六天:地狱存在:耶稣基督已经用他的话语和死亡证实了这个事实

Sixth Day: HELL EXISTS: JESUS CHRIST HAS ATTESTED TO THIS FACT BY HIS WORD AND HIS DEATH

根据我们到目前为止所领受的恩典和我们自己的偏好,我们今天要默想浪子的故事(路15:11-32),或是在法利赛人西门家里的罪女的故事(路7:36-50),或是彼得不认主的故事(可14:66-74),或者更好的是,关于地狱。一些圣徒向我们揭示了对神审判的敬畏——一种基于信心的有益的、儿子般的敬畏——在塑造他们的态度和使他们成圣的过程中起到了什么样的作用。

Following the grace we have received up until now and our own preference, we will meditate today on the account of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32), or on the woman who was a sinner in Simon the Pharisee’s house (Luke 7:36–50), or on Peter’s denial (Mark 14:66–74), or, even better yet, on hell. Some of the saints have revealed to us what kind of a role the fear of God’s judgment—a salutary, filial fear based on faith—has played in forming their attitudes and in their sanctification.

这个关于地狱的祷告将为我们介绍一种新的祷告方法,称为感官默想法(见第39页)。

This prayer on hell will introduce us to a new method of prayer, one that is called the Application of the Senses (see p. 39).

这种祷告要求退省者有很大的属灵单纯性,一种特殊的技巧,使他能够听到耶稣的话语,就像他说话时的原样,也像加利利的人们理解的那样。

This prayer demands a great spiritual simplicity on the part of the retreatant, a kind of special skill that will enable him to hear Jesus’ words just as he said them and as the people of Galilee understood them.

但首先我们要记住圣依纳爵的两个建议和一个重要的属灵原则:

But first we call to mind two pieces of advice from St. Ignatius and one important spiritual principle:

(1)「使灵魂充满和满足的不是大量的知识,而是对真理的亲密理解和品味。

(1) It is not much knowledge that fills and satisfies the soul, but the intimate understanding and relish of the truth.

(2)「我要安静地默想我已找到所渴望的那一点,不急于继续,直到我感到满足。

(2) I will remain quietly meditating on the point in which I have found what I desire, without any eagerness to go on until I have been satisfied.

我们的属灵原则是:感官默想法是从最物质的(身体的感官)到最高的属灵祷告(灵魂的感官)逐步建立起来的。

And our spiritual principal: the Application of the Senses is built up in stages from the most materialistic (the senses of the body) to the highest spiritual prayers (the senses of the soul).

根据什么对他有吸引力以及他所得到的恩典,每个人从这整个范围中选择他想要的。

Depending on what appeals to him and on the grace he has been given, each person picks out what he wants from among this whole scale.

把自己置于神的同在中,做预备祷告。
求他赐下恩典。

Put yourself in the presence of God and make the preparatory prayer.
Ask him for his grace.

场景构想

Composition of Place

以下其中之一:

One of the following:

——在西斯廷教堂米开朗基罗著名的「最后审判」壁画前,

— before Michelangelo’s well-known fresco “The Last Judgment” in the Sistine Chapel,

——在某个描绘地狱的中世纪门楣或彩色玻璃窗前,

— before some medieval tympanum or stained-glass window depicting hell,

——马太福音25:31-46所描述的最后审判场景。

— the scene of the Last Judgment described in Matthew 25:31–46.

我要求我所渴望和想要的:在这里是对失丧之人所受痛苦的深切感受,这样如果我ever忘记了天父的爱,至少对这些惩罚的惧怕会使我远离罪。(我们不应该忘记,每次我们的主谈到地狱时,都几乎是以残酷的现实主义来呈现的。我们的祷告应该保持我们主同样的「说话语气」。)

I will ask for what I desire and want: here it will be a deep sense of the pain that the lost suffer, so that if I ever forget the love of my Father in heaven, at least the fear of these punishments will keep me from falling into sin. (We should not forget that each time he spoke of hell, our Lord presented it with an almost brutal realism. Our prayer ought to preserve our Lord’s same “tone of speaking”.)

第一点:用我的眼睛看

First Point: To See with My Eyes

(1)福音书所说的「外面的黑暗」:

(1) What the Gospel calls the “darkness outside”:

「惟有本国的子民,竟被赶到外边黑暗里去」(太8:12)。

“But the children of the Kingdom will be thrown out into the darkness outside” (Matt 8:12).

「把这无用的仆人,丢在外面黑暗里」(太25:30)。

“As for the good-for-nothing servant, throw him into the darkness outside” (Matt 25:30).

圣约翰和圣保罗将救赎呈现为光明与黑暗之间的战斗。我要努力进入那种对世界的看见。
受难被呈现为「黑暗掌权」的时刻。我要看到基督死亡时遮盖大地的黑暗(路23:44和太27:45)。

St. John and St. Paul present the redemption as a battle between Light and Darkness. I will strive to enter into that vision of the world.
The Passion is presented as the hour of the power of darkness. I will see the darkness that covered the earth at the moment of Christs death (Luke 23:44 and Matt 27:45).

(2)「火」:* 进入永火……*比较最后审判的伟大场景(可13;太24)以及马太福音18章和马可福音9章。

(2) The fire: In ignem aeternum Compare the great scenes of the Last Judgment (Mark 13; Matt 24) and also Matthew 18 and Mark 9.

「你缺了肢体进入永生,强如有两只手落到地狱,入那不灭的火里去。」

It is better for you to enter into life with one hand, one foot, one eye than be thrown into the hell of unextinguishable fire.

第二点:用我的耳朵听

Second Point: To Hear with My Ears

(1)失丧之人的「哀哭」(太8:12;24:51;路13:28),

(1) The cries of the damned (Matt 8:12; 24:51; Luke 13:28),

(2)他们的「切齿」;切齿在福音书中被提到十二次,

(2) Their grinding of teeth; stridor dentium cited twelve times in the Gospels,

(3)在拉撒路的比喻中,那财主与亚伯拉罕对话时的呼求(路16:19-30),

(3) In the parable of Lazarus, the appeals the rich man made in his conversation with Abraham (Luke 16:19–30),

(4)在最后审判时对失丧之人宣判的可怕判决(「你们这被咒诅的人,离开我」[太25:41])。

(4) The terrible sentences meted out to the damned at the Last Judgment (Go away from me, with your curse upon you [Matt 25:41]).

第三点:闻气味

Third Point: To Smell the Odor

这就是圣保罗所说的「朽坏」(加7:8;林前9:25;15:53)和圣彼得所写的(彼前1:23)。

This is the corruption of which St. Paul speaks (Gal 7:8; 1 Cor 9:25; 15:53) and about which St. Peter writes (1 Pet 1:23).

第四点:品尝

Fourth Point: To Taste

诸如眼泪、悲伤、良心的自责等苦涩之物:

Such bitter things as tears, sadness, remorse of conscience:

——那恶财主在痛苦中的干渴(路16:24)

— the thirst of the evil rich man in his torment (Luke 16:24)

——神的愤怒的苦涩,失丧之人的绝望,「第二次的死」,与道成肉身者奉他父的名来宣告和应许的爱与喜乐的「生命」相比

— the bitterness of divine wrath, the despair of the damned, the second death in comparison to the life of love and joy the Word incarnate came to announce and promise in the name of his Father

第五点:用我的触觉感受

Fifth Point: To Feel by My Sense of Touch

(1)在最后审判时「被弃绝」的……像渔夫丢弃的坏鱼;像从好麦子中分离出来被焚烧的糠秕;像在筵席上没有穿礼服的客人;一种把我们推到外面的力量;一个残酷的、确定的、无法上诉的决定,

(1) The rejected at the Last Judgment . . . like the bad fish the fisherman rejects; like the chaff they separate from the good grain and burn; like the dinner guest at the feast who was without the proper garment; a force that pushes us to the outside; a brutal, definitive decision with no appeal,

(2)火炉:「烧着硫磺的火湖」(启19:20;20:10),

(2) The fiery furnace: the fiery lake of burning sulphur (Rev 19:20; 20:10),

(3)与失丧之人、魔鬼接触……多么可怕的环境!我们本是被造要与三位一体神「合一」,要永远与童贞马利亚、天使和众圣徒同在。

(3) Contacts with the damned, the demons . . . what surroundings! We who were made to be one with the Trinity, to live eternally in the company of the Virgin Mary, the angels, and the saints.

我要与我们的主交谈。 我要想起那些在地狱里的人。有些人不相信他的来临;其他虽然相信却没有遵守他的诫命,其中「第一和最大的」是「你要爱……」我要感谢他没有让我在那些不忠实的时候死去,他来寻找我这个可怜的人,他一直不断地以如此的温柔和怜悯对待我。

I will enter into conversation with our Lord. I will call to mind those who are in hell. Some did not believe in his coming; others who did believe nevertheless did not keep his commandments, of which the first and the greatest is you shall love . . . I will then thank him that he has not let me die at those times when I was unfaithful, that he came to find me in my wretchedness, and that he has always and unceasingly treated me with so much tenderness and compassion.

我要以主祷文结束我的祷告。

I will close my prayer with an Our Father.

第七天

Seventh Day

我们以信心和盼望的异象结束第一周是合适的。尽管有罪,神的计划能够实现,正在实现。罪最残酷的折磨仍然存在:「你必定死」(创2:17),但从此以后死亡改变了:对选民来说,它是一个通道,通往天上永生的通道。

It is fitting that we should end this first week with a vision of faith and hope. Despite sin, Gods plan can be realized, is realized. The most cruel affliction of sin remains: You shall most surely die (Gen 2:17), but henceforth death is changed: for the elect it is a passage, the passage to life everlasting in heaven.

把自己置于神的同在中,做预备祷告。求他启发你。

Place yourself in the presence of God and make the preparatory prayer. Ask him to inspire you.

场景构想

Composition of Place

耶稣死亡时的各各他……或是耶稣呼唤拉撒路出来时的坟墓前。

Calvary at the moment of Jesuss death or before Lazarus tomb when Jesus called him forth.

我要求我所渴望和想要的。在这里是要我对永生的信心坚定而深厚,从此以后我成为那些属于圣彼得奇妙应许的人之一:「神召你们出黑暗,入奇妙光明」(彼前2:9)。

I will ask for what I desire and want. Here it will be that my faith in eternal life will be firm and profound and that from this moment forth I be one of those to whom the marvelous promise of St. Peter pertains: God called you out of darkness into his wonderful light! (1 Pet 2:9).

第一点:生命的奥秘和死亡的奥秘

First Point: The Mystery of Life and the Mystery of Death

(1)生命是一个奥秘,但我们对它有一些经验。因为我们对死亡没有经验,它就更是一个奥秘。没有基督的启示,它就是一个「黑洞」。死亡是「荒谬的」,也使生命变得「荒谬」。
(2)然而死亡是生命最确定的事实。我会死。但这个确定的事实被不确定性包围着。圣方济各·沙雷这样说:「有一天,我的灵魂,你必须离开这个身体。会是什么时候?冬天还是夏天?在城里还是乡下?白天还是晚上?有预警还是没有?因病还是意外?我能有机会告解吗?……不幸的是,我对这些事一无所知;只有一件事是确定的:我会死,而且比我想象的要早。」圣方济各·沙雷,《灵修入门》,30-31页。

(1) Life is a mystery, but we have some experience of it. Because we have no experience of death, it is even more of a mystery. Without Christs revelation it is the black hole. Death is absurd and makes life also absurd.
(2) And yet death is lifes most certain fact. I will die. But this certain fact is wrapped up in uncertainties. St. Francis de Sales says this about it: One day, my soul, you must depart from this body. When will it be? In winter or summer? In town or country? During the day or night? With or without warning? As a result of illness or accident? Shall I have a chance to go to confession? Unhappily, I know none of these things; only one thing is certain: I will die, and sooner than I imagine. St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, 30–31.

第二点:死亡是最大的分离

Second Point: Death Is the Great Separation

因此它是真理的大光。

And for this reason it is the great light of truth.

(1)在我死亡的那一刻,世界对我而言死了。一切都结束了。* 对我*而言它倒塌成虚无。

(1) At the instant of my death the world dies for me. It is all over. It topples over into nothingness for me.

(2)不。不是一切都结束了。在那同一时刻,神把在我灵魂在世时长成的稗子从好麦子中分开。这是真理的时刻:有的东西存留并继续活着,因为它建立在神的基础上,有的东西死亡并消失,因为它「服在虚空之下」。但愿在我里面没有任何东西应得圣约翰在启示录中所说的这「第二次的死」(启20:14)。

(2) No. Not everything is finished. At that same moment, God sorts the weeds from good grain that grew up during my souls time on earth. It is the moment of truth: there is that which remains and lives on because it was built upon God, and there is that which dies and disappears because it was handed over to vanity. Please God there is nothing in me that merits this second death about which St. John speaks in his book of Revelation (Rev 20:14).

(3)在这光中,一个人在世上生命中所有*「治死」*(就是置于死地)的事都显出其真正的价值。「我想现在的苦楚,若比起将来要显于我们的荣耀,就不足介意了」(罗8:18)。在这光中我们更好地理解圣保罗写给哥林多人的话的意思:「我们这至暂至轻的苦楚,要为我们成就极重无比永远的荣耀」(林后4:17)。条件是这些「苦楚」要与我们主的受难联合:「因为你们已经死了,你们的生命与基督一同藏在神里面。基督是我们的生命,他显现的时候,你们也要与他一同显现在荣耀里」(西3:3-4)。

(3) Seen in this light everything during a persons earthly life that mortifies (that is, puts to death) takes on its true worth. In my estimation all that we suffer in the present time is nothing in comparison with the glory that is destined to be disclosed in us (Rom 8:18). In this light we understand better what St. Paul meant when he wrote to the Corinthians: Yes, the troubles that are soon over, though they weigh little, train us for the carrying of a weight of eternal glory that is out of all proportion to them (2 Cor 4:17). On condition that the troubles are joined to the Passion of our Lord: Because you have died through your baptism, and now the life you have is hidden with Christ in God.
But when Christ is revealed—and he is your life—you too will be revealed in all your glory with him (Col 3:3-4).

第三点:对基督徒来说,死亡是通往生命的通道

Third Point: Death for the Christian Is a Passage to Life

我们应当品味亡者弥撒第一序言中的话语,体会其中包含的所有信心和盼望:「主啊,对你忠信的子民来说,生命是改变,而不是终结」1(从暂时的转向永恒的)。这奇妙的蜕变——死去的麦粒长出新芽,或蛹变成蝴蝶——给我们一些关于这个过程的概念,尽管是不完全的。

We should relish the words in the First Preface of the Mass for the Dead with all the savor of faith and hope these words contain: Lord, for your faithful people life is changed, not ended 1 (it goes from the temporal to the eternal). This wonderful metamorphosis—the grain of wheat that that dying gives birth to the shoot or the chrysalis that becomes a butterfly—gives us some idea, however imperfect, of this process.

(1)永生——这是耶稣,道成肉身的那一位,来到地上要带给我们的。通过他的死亡和复活,他已经战胜了死亡,就是罪的结果和象征。「死啊,你得胜的权势在哪里?死啊,你的毒钩在哪里?」(林前15:55)。耶稣向人显明自己是生命,是生命的粮。让我们重读约翰福音辉煌的第六章或拉撒路复活的记载(约11)。

(1) Life everlasting—this is what Jesus, the Word made flesh, has come to bring us here below. By his death and Resurrection he has conquered death, the result and the symbol of sin. Death, where is your victory? Death, where is your sting? (I Cor 15:55). Jesus presents himself to men as the Life, the Bread of Life. Let us reread St. Johns magnificent sixth chapter or the account of the raising to life of Lazarus (John II).

(2)永生就是天堂。天堂是拥有神,永远爱他;更好的说,是神拥有我们,爱我们,在永恒中使我们与他联合。让我们重读启示录第21章,或哥林多后书(5:1-10),或新约中的许多章节。我们对生命、喜乐、爱、合一的基本存在性渴望将完全得到满足。死亡使忠信的基督徒能够进入这个与神「面对面」的意想不到的状态。「我们如今彷佛对着镜子观看,模糊不清,到那时,就要面对面了」(林前13:12)。「亲爱的弟兄啊,我们现在是神的儿女,将来如何,还未显明」(约壹3:2)。

(2) Life everlasting is heaven. Heaven is God possessed, loved for all eternity; better, it is God possessing us, loving us, uniting us to himself during all eternity. Let us reread chapter 21 in the book of Revelation, or the Second Letter to the Corinthians (5:1–10), or many a chapter from the New Testament. Our basic, existential appetite for life, for joy, for love, for unity will be altogether satisfied, fulfilled. Death enables the faithful Christian to pass to this unhoped-for state of being face to face with God. Now we see only reflections in a mirror, mere riddles, but then we shall be seeing face to face (I Cor 13:12). My dear friends, we are already Gods children, but what we shall be in the future has not been revealed (I John 3:2).

(3)这种观点非但不会使我们「恨恶」这个世界,反而应该激励我们尽我们所能拯救这个世界,为它的成圣和人类朝向合一……和仁爱的进步而工作。让我们不要忘记「一切受造之物,一同叹息劳苦,直到如今」(罗8:22)。我们在「成全圣徒,建立基督的身体」(弗4:13)的观点下实现我们个人的救恩。「我们却是天上的国民。并且等候救主,就是主耶稣基督,从天上降临。他要按着那能叫万有归服自己的大能,将我们这卑贱的身体改变形状,和他自己荣耀的身体相似」(腓3:20)。

(3) Far from making us hate the world, this perspective should incite us to save the world, as far as it is in our power to do so, to work for its sanctification and for mans progress toward unity and charity. Let us not forget that the whole of creation, until this time, has been groaning in labor pains (Rom 8:22). We achieve our own personal salvation in the perspective of knitting Gods holy people together in Christ (Eph 4:13). But our homeland is in heaven, and it is from there that we are expecting a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transfigure this wretched body of ours into the mold of his glorious body, through the working of the power that he has, even to bring all things under his mastery (Phil 3:20).